Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Shifting towards authenticity

Sometimes I think I'd like to be a horse. They innately understand how to live in the present moment. They don't battle with ego the same way we do. Lately I've been feeling that feeling of needing to do more, to be more. Feeling like I'm not yet enough. I was looking though my journal and I found this entry from a couple of months ago. I love it when I realize I already have the answers!

When I have a shift in awareness, a shift towards authenticity, my ego becomes scared and challenged. The urge to do something, to be something arises. Old stories and patterns try to grab my attention. Yet when I notice where I am, what I see, smell, hear, feel and taste my experience returns to the present moment. I then realize I am exactly where I need to be, doing or not doing exactly what I need to be doing or not doing and that I am not the stories or patterns that emerge. I am the presence that is witnessing them. I am the divine. I am love. I am peace.

Friday, 22 April 2011

Horses and French Fries

I've been struggling with my first post. Wondering what to write, wondering who will read it. Pondering what I should say about myself, because that's what we humans do. We create stories with words. We use words to create a story about ourselves that will show the world the parts of ourselves we want the world to see.
So then I thought of what the horses have taught me. So this is me introducing myself like a horse. This is me, as I am, in this moment. Nothing more, nothing less. Horses don't tell stories. They don't only share pieces of themselves. They simply show up, in the moment, as they are. I love that about horses. All I have to do is show up and be honest. As long as I'm being me, in any moment, the horses accept me. They don't care if I'm happy or sad, excited or mad. They just want me to be. Whoever that is, whatever I may be feeling, in the moment.
You're seeing a trend here with this in the moment thing aren't you? Some people have spiritual guru's as their master teachers. I have horses. They teach me all the same things, and they certainly don'y buy into my stories. Horses get that everything is just information. Emotions or behaviours aren't right or wrong to them. The emotion or behaviour just informs them what's going on and allows them to move forward from there. 
For example, if Big Red is eating hay and Piper comes to try and share and Big Red doesn't want to share he may feel angry. He certainly doesn't stand around judging himself for feeling angry, or questioning why Piper is so presumptious and rude. He just tells Piper he doesn't want to share. Even if he bites Piper he doesn't then beat himself up for losing his temper. He just continues to eat the hay.
Piper does not spend the next half hour thinking Big Red is a jerk, or wondering if Big Red hates him now. He is hungry so he gets back to finding food, whether it's sharing with another horse or finding his own pile of hay. Half an hour later when they are both done eating they will probably hang out and groom each other. There's no stories about, "Did you see how Big Red treated my? As if I'm going to hang out with him anymore."
Now, I'm not saying never share you're food with anyone. And I'm not saying you should bite someone who tries to steal a french fry from your plate. I'm simply saying that horses might just have something with this present moment thing. With this understanding that nothing is right or wrong, it's just information.
So now in this moment I am tired. Back to bed for me.